A toy to covet

This is the offending object

I wrote in an earlier post about Jemma and her, "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine" attitude.  She covets a silly toy that I got at Target for around $0.50.  I finally got up the nerve to bring the offending object, as this silly toy will now be known, out again at bathtime last night...  Since this object she hasn't had a huge problem sharing toys with Charlie, she actually seems to be getting a little better at it, probably because he is becoming better at keeping a tight grip on what he has and snatching things back from her once she takes them.

I gave the offending object to Charlie first, given he had never even got to hold it before I felt this was fair.  To  Jemma's credit, she let me distract her with a watering can, however kept a keen eye on the offending object the whole time I was 'watering' her hands.  She tried to make a grab for it a couple of times and each time I told her it was Charlie's turn to see it.  She whimpered a bit but let me distract her again with the watering can.

Then it was time to get out of the bathtub...  I took Jemma out first, took the offending object from Charlie and gave it to Jemma to play with while we got diapers and PJ's on.  She was happier than a lark!!  But then it was time to put it away and drink bedtime bottles, oh man!  did I ever have it coming!  She threw a royal fit!  I think she was still whimpering about it by the time she went to bed.

So, what's to do with this situation?  It's pretty normal for kids to become attached to objects.  This particular offending object I think hits just the right spot on her gums when she chews on it where she is cutting a new tooth.  But what do you do when the situation turns into a tantrum?

I asked my co-workers today, a team of therapists, what they would do.  There were a variety of answers:

1. Continue to give it to her and take it away when it's time to put it away so that she will learn that sometimes we have to put things away.
2. Take it away at intervals and give it back if she can control herself from throwing a tantrum.
3. Bring it out in a different setting and see what happens.
4. Work on 'object permanence' with Jemma by hiding the toy under a blanket and then uncovering it so that she will start to understand that just because the toy goes away it will come back again.

I'm not sure which of these we will try.  I do think it's important for kids to learn to clean up and put things away, but if we continue to work on this at bathtime I think she and I are both so tired by that time of day that we will likely just keep butting heads about this particular offending object.  Sometimes kids can get so focused on an object or toy that they could spend quite a lot of time just looking at it or turning it over in their hands, or in this case chewing on it.  I hesitate to bring it out at a different time of day because most of the rest of the day they are working on getting up on their hands and knees and scooting around on the floor and I don't want her to waste her whole day worrying about this toy. 

I guess the moral of this post is whichever method you would take in this situation - we are still the adults and have some control over these kinds of things in our kids lives.  Though most of the time I feel like I'm in charge of everything - but actually the boss of nothing, it's important that I ensure they are learning lessons appropriate for their age.  If this toy is too troublesome to learn lessons with I might just be a chicken and hide it again for another 3 weeks!  But we will still keep working on hands and knees and sharing, just with other toys!!